3 Difficult But Valuable Lessons I Learned in 2023

For the first time in my life, I felt hopeless.

Almost like the other team hit a game winning shot with no time left.

It was the fall of 2019 and I graduated with a bachelors degree in Health Sciences.

Except, theres nothing you can do with a Health Science Degree because it’s a pre-req into medical school.

Therefore, on a whim, I decided to dabble into the online training world in September of 2019.

I hired a mentor, bought expensive “KetoVoreKing” shirts, pens, cards, and started my LLC.

I’d go into the local Starbucks with my laptop, drinking a dark roast with light cream, and spamming everyone’s Dm’s in the hope they’d sign up for coaching with me.

Well… that didn’t work.

I felt like a fraud.

I was 22 years old with no experience except myself.

And I couldn’t get clients to sign up for the life of me.

So I quit and worked other labor intensive jobs that I knew in my gut was not for me.

“What the hell am I doing with my life?” I kept thinking.

I had this annoying nudge in my side that kept telling me I was going in the wrong direction.

I knew fitness was a passion of mine and I didn’t want to live life with regret.

So, I pursued becoming a better trainer so that I could have my own business and gym in the future.

So, in 2021 I took the leap into becoming a full time personal trainer.

Technically, I trained a few family and friends in person from 2019-2021.

But I knew that wasn’t enough. I needed more experience.

After applying my ass off, and having a number of interviews at different gyms, I finally received an opportunity.

There was only one slight problem…

The gym was located in the snow belt of North East Ohio while also being 45 minutes away from my house.

This was me trying to get to the gym. Big GOT guy too.

But I didn’t care.

I was committed to making this work.

To my surprise, most of my clients were 60-80 years old.

And I quickly learned that fitness is not only about getting jacked and shredded.

It’s about:

having fun
feeling better
being healthy
moving better
Improving balance
gaining more energy
reducing your risk of injuries
having less aches and pains
being able to play with grandkids
being able to walk, stand up and sit down from a chair

And the aesthetics (build muscle and lose fat) came as a byproduct.

I’m always extremely grateful for this gym because they gave me a chance.

But, the drive out there was brutal – especially during the winter and the car problems that were starting to pop up.

Then, at the start of 2022, while I was in the middle of an intense upper body session, the manager at my local gym came up to me and asked if I’d be interested in a job there.

Fuck yes.

This gym is 10 minutes away from my home and for what they were offering, I couldn’t pass up the opportunity.

The only problem was I had to say bye to my clients – which was tough.

But at the same time, this was the start of an amazing year.

I grew my client roster until it was basically full.
I learned some invaluable lessons of training people 1:1 in person.
And most importantly, I made a ton of new friends.

Then Came THE Big Surprise

Being a personal trainer can be mentally exhausting.

There’s a reason why most people burn out.

You’re on your feet all day while also dealing with a bunch of different personalities, ages, abilities, and goals.

This requires you to be ON all of the time, which is fine, but when you’re an introvert like me, it can take a toll on you.

Every night I went home feeling like a zombie.

So, one weekend I went out to my brothers house to get a mini-break.

As I’m sitting on the couch, I get a message on IG.

It’s from another coach who’ve I’d become friends with over the years.

I opened the video to him saying, “Hey, just wondering if you’d like to come work for my team?”

I was speechless.

Instantly, the anxiety started creeping up my throat into my brain.

“Why me? Did he send this to the wrong person?” I thought.

Instantly, the confidence drained out of my body like a water balloon that has a hole in it.

But I knew this was a massive opportunity that I couldn’t pass up.

An opportunity to become a better coach, help a ton of people, and be part of a great team.

So I decided to go all in.

The unfortunate part was I had to quit my in person job again, which was NOT an easy decision.

When you train clients daily for weeks on end, you build a special bond with them.

So saying bye to my clients, fellow trainers, and friends sucked. I still miss them to this day.

But, life is all about taking chances and getting out of your comfort zone.

And I knew deep in my gut I needed to do this.

So, I took a flight by myself for the first time to meet this coach and his team and it was a perfect fit.

On top of that, 2022 was the year that I got married to my beautiful wife.

So that in itself made it an amazing year.

Getting married and getting my dream job? Can’t beat that right?

After our amazing wedding and honeymoon to Clearwater Florida, I hit the ground running in my new coaching position.

And that’s how 2022 ended.

Moving onto 2023…The Year of Hopes and Dreams

“This is going to be OUR year, Bob” my client Amy said to me with enthusiasm and excitement.

I agreed.

Amy had changed her whole life around in 2022 after losing 50 lbs, improving her health and fitness, and sky rocketing her self confidence.

2022 was so amazing for the both of us, it was natural to think 2023 was going to be even better.

We were like the football team who had a promising year, signed/drafted a few star players, and were destined for the superbowl.

So, this is how 2023 went and 3 things I’ve learned.

1. Things Don’t Always Go as Planned…. And That’s Not a Bad Thing

I wake up, January 1st on my buddies air mattress with a massive headache.

I was hungover.

Great.

Oh, and to make things worse my Ohio State Buckeyes lost on a missed field goal to the Georgia Bulldogs to go to the National Championship.

So, 2023 was off to a great start… NOT.

But hey, it literally just started so were good.

I had the ambitious goal of filling out my 1:1 online coaching roster.

On top of that, I started 75 Hard – a mental toughness program to get your shit together.

Well, week by week, I had a tough time of signing people up for coaching.

And to add to the frustration, I failed 75 hard after 53 days because I forgot to take a photo of myself one night.

But I didn’t let that bring me down.

I kept working and grinding away.

Eventually clients started signing up.

I had my fitness back on track.

I was feeling pretty damn good.

Fast forward to early May of 2023, I go out to visit the team again.

We had a great time, talked about the visions for the future, and bonded even more.

However…

When I returned home, I found out my wife was pregnant.

“Well, shit…”

I wasn’t surprised but I was surprised if you know what I mean?

Being a dad is something I’ve always wanted and I was extremely excited.

This was my turn around for 2023.

This is why I knew the year was going to be so special.

Then we started to have some early problems with the pregnancy that only added to my stress.

It was the only thing I could think about, which affected my performance and mindset.

Then a big surprise hit me… I lost my job.

But here’s the thing…

I always wanted my own business so maybe this happened for a reason.

I’m a big believer in the big guy upstairs having a plan for you. It’s what you do with that plan that matters.

I will always be extremely grateful for the opportunity, lessons, clients/members and experiences I had while working with the team.

It was an awesome experience and the people were even better.

But, shit happens unfortunately and life is all about learning, making adjustments, and moving on.

And boy… did I learn a ton of lessons in 2023.

If anything, it was the year of lessons lol.

But, knowing I gave my 110% effort and focus to my clients and the team is something that I’m proud of.

So here I thought 2023 was going to be such and amazing year and instead…

2023 literally stared me in the face, laughed, and sucker punched me in the face.

But, the new and improved me had built something powerful… and that was grit, discipline, and a new perspective on life.

And I wasn’t going to let this stop me from reaching my goals – especially with a baby on the way.

I now knew that sitting around and sulking would do jack shit for me…

I needed to take action. And that’s what I did.

When you start you fitness journey, you must realize that it will NOT go the way you planned.

There will be bumps, detours, road closures, pot holes, and people driving 20 MPH below the speed limit.

It will go slower than you want. There will be times you want to quit. It will be hard.

Which means, you’ll have to adjust and take it one day at a time.

But that’s ok because it’s a LIFE long journey that never ends.

Which brings me to my second point…

2. Pressure Creates Diamonds

There is no better motivator then when your back is against the wall because you have no other options.

And when you have no other options- like getting leaner to improve your health and quality of life – you become unstoppable.

Tough times make the best out of you.

They literally show you what you’re made of.

Here’s 3 things I do that’s helped me stay consistent through tough times:

1. Created a “Power List” Each Day

This is something I’ve adopted from Andy Frisella.

Basically, you have 5 actions you need to complete each day in order to win the day and get closer to your goals.

This is what my power list looks like:

Client emails/coaching
Creating content
Studying to become a better trainer/coach
Client programs
Strength training and getting my steps in

What this may look like for you on your fitness journey:

Hit calorie goal
Hit protein goal
Get in strength training workout
Get 7-10k steps
Drink 3-5 bottles of water

If you win more days than you lose, you will succeed.

Now, am I perfect? Hell no.

But, this has helped me become more efficient and productive.

Have some fun with this too.

If you win 5 days in a row before losing a day, try to win 6 the next time.

2. I adopted the DON’T think, Just DO mentality.

This basically consists of not thinking of things twice.

Once you you want to do something, just go do it – regardless of failing.

Or else, you’re going to tell yourself stories and talk yourself out of doing it.

Doing = progress.

And that’s basically it dude.

Because each time you do it, you’ll learn what works and what you could’ve done better.

Plus, you’ll tie in the emotion of actually doing it, which will motivate you to do it more.

And this is how you get better over time and boost your confidence.

So, your Power List already tells you WHAT to do.

You just have to DO it.

3. I Had to Adopt a Positive Mindset Each Day

Your thoughts become your reality.

If you’re always thinking negative thoughts, negative things are going to happen.

And your confidence is going to go to shit.

But, if you think more positively and are more mindful of your thoughts, you become happier, less stressed, and ultimately get more done.

So by:

-journaling

-meditating

-putting good quality information in your brain (good books and podcast vs scrolling socials)

-visualizing the future

You’ll be able to reframe your negative thoughts and think more positively.

So, one big thing I learned is: Do the work regardless of how you feel.

Because if you can do the work even during your shitty times, you’re going to be alright.

That storm that you’re in will eventually pass.

They all do.

3. Don’t Be a Hermit

While having an online business is great, it can also be very lonely – especially during tough times.

This is where being an introvert can be problematic because it’s easy to not socialize.

But I knew that wouldn’t help anything.

So, I decided to stop being a bitch and socialize:

I started training clients in person again.
I hired my own coach for the first time to help keep me accountable with my own fitness.
I rejoined my old gym I worked out at because I missed the people there.
I made it a priority to talk to people in the gym and say hi.
I started giving presentations, which is crazy because I never though that would have happened writing this.
I also started to SMILE more and CHOOSE to be happy.

This time around, I’m a lot more grateful for what I have.

That’s been a huge lesson 2023 has taught me.

Be present, be grateful for you what you currently have, don’t take things for granted, and try your best not to complain because things can be a lot worse.

I mean, I’m going to be a dad. How fucking cool is that?

Final Thoughts

Hopefully you found this helpful in someway.

You won’t always be your best or perfect and that’s ok because no one ever is.

But your attitude matters a ton.

When things don’t go your way, it’s ok.

There is a lesson to be learned and it’s happened for a reason.

If you go in everyday with a positive attitude, it makes that day much easier and you start to attract positive things in your life.

While the time may seem tough when it’s happening, when you look back, those hardest times may be your biggest blessings.

And as long as you don’t quit and keep going… you’re going to be solid.

Here’s to hoping for a healthy and successful 2024!

-Coach Bob